Monday, May 21, 2012

London, after two weeks...


Ok, so I got over feeling sorry for myself and decided that it was time to do something about the situation instead. London will not get less noisy or gray and England will by no means get less rainy... But I can and will get less grumpy. I still have my moments though (the black hole moments, that is), but you do too, and you're not even living here. Be grateful! :)

I realize that this is something temporary. This I knew from the start... in theory. But now I feel it. And I haven't been this excited in a very, very long time.

I like bus rides in London. They take forever! So you have time to have life-changing philosophical discussions, should you desire to. And this past week I very much desired that! But it had to come, at the right moment.

As those reading this blog already know, my boyfriend and I are from two different countries and we both find it difficult to live in each others', so we decided to find a home. A new home. A place that we can both call as such! Well, needless to say, England is not that! As green and beautiful as it is, because it is, if you are a tourist, it is not OUR place... And there is nothing wrong with that.

So during a glorious bus-ride (on the upper deck) inspiration stroke, the dream was there and in just a few moments it became a plan...a dreamy plan; a goal to be excited about...

And as annoying as I will be (I know!) I will not tell you about it just yet! But it is great, in fact "great" does not cover how cool this is, or maybe just how excited I am? Yes, perhaps that boosts "the greatness" of the situation...

It is important to know what you want. Knowing what you don't want does not cover it, it just spoils your days. I used to hate having long term plans, or goals that needed a longer period of time to unfold. And though I have never admitted it to myself, the reason for this was fear; the fear of not being able to reach it, so I erased the purpose of starting to work towards reaching it! And I had to understand that even reaching the goal is not the end. A goal is not a destination, it is just a mile stone on the journey; one of many!
And it is also amazing to realize that it is exactly this, that has beautified my stay here; because until we arrive where we wish to arrive, I'll enjoy whatever adventure London has to offer!

Don't let fear be the judge of your steps or dreams...
Love,
E.

Ps. Thank you so, so much for all those of you who wrote me, to say hi, or to encourage me to believe. All your sweet messages have brought tiny tears of joy into my eyes, and you have definitely helped me get closer to this realization at this stage of my life. 
I am grateful to have you travel with me through it all... I truly am!

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