Friday, December 4, 2015

Wishes


It always happens, yet I never seem to learn.
They say one must be careful what she wishes for, because she just might get it. I wished for life around me, work to do, situations to solve so that I would keep my mind distracted, my hands busy, and my energies focused. In. Another. Direction.

For the next holiday season I have a resolution. Either to hire an intern, or to organize my life in such a perfect way that I would be able to sanely handle it all. I am anything but organized, yet I usually seem to be so at home in my beautiful mess... up until November comes... After that my beautiful mess becomes fairly impossible to untangle.

Notes and colorful post-its everywhere. Maaan, I need to learn to say no sometimes.
Or perhaps I should have better wishes... Dare to wish, instead.
Walls are built for reasons. Protection mainly. Yet I have no walls high enough to save me from myself. Fatigue makes me vulnerable. And I don't like being so. This is the dangerous kind of vulnerability. Not towards the world. But against myself.

What do you do when you are out of breath, out of tears and out of answers?

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