Tuesday, March 8, 2016

Arms of a woman

I am at ease in the arms of a woman.
Although now,
most of my days i spend alone.
A thousand miles,
from the place i was born.
But when she wakes me,
she takes me back home.

Now, most days,
i spend like a child.
Who's afraid of ghosts in my mind.
I know, there ain't nothing out there.
I'm still afraid to turn on the lights.

I am at ease in the arms of a woman.
Although now,
most of my days a i spend alone.
A thousand miles,
the place i was born.
When she wakes me,
she takes me back home.

A thousand miles,
the place i was born.
When she wakes me,
she takes me back home.

I am at ease in the arms of a woman.
Although now,
most of my days i spend alone.
A thousand miles,
from the place i was born.
When she wakes me,
she takes me..
Ya, when she wakes me,
she takes me back home.
When she wakes me,
she takes me back home.

Arms of a woman // Amos Lee

Once March arrives, even the smallest corners of the city get filled up with flowers, you can smell hyacinth in your sleep... Romania seems to celebrate its women quite ceremoniously, and had created a whole marketing strategy around this event. It is little like Christmas in this sense. But at least it doesn't promote weight gain, because it is more about flowers and less about chocolate (not that I have anything against chocolate). Aggressive publicity and consumerism aside, I like March, and I very much enjoy the gesture of celebrating women. Because without an occasion most people seldom do. And while I very much like receiving flowers, I am not referring to men paying more attention to women (because let's be honest, if they wait for 8th March to be forced reminded to grab a fancy bouquet, and that's pretty much all the attention they can give, well...you get the picture). I am referring to women paying more attention to other women, and most of all to themselves. If you need a man to notice you in order to feel loved, then you might want to look into that matter. Relationships are a very wonderful, yet tricky thing. And I am probably the last person you want to ask about them, because I will say all the things you do not want to hear.

But I won't go into all the things you should stop doing, because this is a happy day! I will tell you some of those, which you should do. Or at least think about them. And the question it all comes down to is for the women among you today.

Can you stand in front of a mirror as tall as you are, look to your reflection, and say firmly with a calm affirmative heart, that you love yourself? In my experience most women, when I ask them this will pop in revolt, and rebelliously reply with a question like "how can you even ask something like that, of course I don't; that would be incredibly narcissistic and egocentric of me". I am continuously astounded by the frequency of this type of response. Most women could only conceive such a distorted meaning of love toward themselves, yet they can love almost unconditionally, care beyond imagination even after having been countlessly disappointed, deceived, disillusioned and hurt. Women possess this magic ability to cry with one eye and smile with the other and still radiate with love. Just think of your mother, she will most likely be the best example of a woman with such superpower. And yet, when they are asked if they love themselves, they cannot state a confident yes. Because loving yourself is not bound to a condition. You cannot love yourself today, because you just came from the hair salon and because you have lost 5 kilos after the diet plan you've been on for the last couple of months. Loving yourself refers also to the harder times, the messy periods, the chubby-tummy-times, the cried-out-eyes-nights and the times when it truly takes energy and courage to show up for yourself. It incorporates all of that, in sickness and in health...

Love is misunderstood so incredibly many times, I find...
The notion of acceptance is much better received in this context. But you don't accept yourself. You accept the deputy that has been elected to Parliament, as you cannot change much about that (well you could, but no one cares enough to even try). You accept something that is beyond your power to alter. But you do not accept yourself.
Self love is often carelessly identified with narcissism. Which is in fact praising the self for its most astonishing (often fictional) characteristics to the extent of egoism and the development of a distinguished sense of superiority.
But love has absolutely nothing to do with either of these, dearest ones.
Establishing a healthy relationship with yourself, standing grounded in front of that 2 meters high mirror and truly confess "I love you" is the gate that will open your heart to your new world.
A world in which no other human being is needed in order for you to feel whole.
A world in which no circumstance needs to be perfect in order for you to feel blessed.
A world in which you can truly be grateful for everyone and everything that has been a part of your journey, even if only for a short while.
A world, in which YOU are enough. And you start to undress all those fears that society and your environment had raised you up in.

That is not to say, that there is no room for improvement. When there will be none, we will most likely cease to exist... But loving yourself for better and for worse, is the inducer of true change, to become the next best version of yourself, and then the next one, keeping the continuous desire to liberate your soul into creating the kindest, truest and most grateful you.




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